Unfriended

How dare you say what is the point of penguins?!?!?!?!?!?!

Maxim Trevelyan
Writer, Ravenclaw

I kept staring at the blank Word document, trying to force a story from my fingers with sheer power of mind. I was not as successful as I hoped I would be. Writing and deleting one sentence after another, I decided that I would not go far in this state of mind. To distract myself from the midnight deadline, I went on some of my favorite Internet sites to kill some time and maybe get some inspiration.

After minutes of mindless Facebook browsing, I stumbled upon a post of someone that I had not seen 10th grade, when I had to switch schools since my family moved to the other side of the country. Kelsey Mann. We were best friends until the move. I wondered what she was up to, so I focused on her status update.

Kelsey Mann is feeling confused. “This will sound really rude, but, like, what even is the point of penguins?”

I felt my blood boil. How dare she blatantly besmirch these perfect, cute animals? They were my favorite ever since my nana bought me a plushy penguin when I was one year old. I still have it twenty-five years later.

“Prepare to be unfriended,” I angrily muttered as I clicked on the reply box and started writing.

I will have you know that penguins are amongst the best animals in the world! Dads keep watch over the eggs and are warming them while the moms are away hunting for their little family. They are incredibly social animals and adorable, since they congregate in groups and always seem like they are having fun, especially when they are sliding on their fronts. There are around 17 species, one of which is called macaroni penguin. Macaroni! How is that not cute? Plus, the one penguin at the zoo where we grew up was always sashaying in front of the viewing window, shaking his tail, showing off. How dare you say what is the point of penguins?!?!?!?!?!?!

I clicked the button to post the comment and then promptly unfriended by ex-best friend. I could not stand to even be Facebook friends with such negative and penguin-hating people. Good riddance to her.